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Helen Wales

Self-Care During Perimenopause: What Actually Helps (No Fluff, Just Real Talk)

Updated: Nov 20

When people say “self-care,” it’s easy to picture something out of a wellness magazine—bubble baths, scented candles, or walking in nature. But if you’re in the middle of perimenopause, real self-care is often a lot less glamorous and a lot more about just getting through the day in one piece.


Perimenopause can throw a lot at you. Between the hot flushes, mood swings, brain fog, and that bone-deep exhaustion, some days it’s an achievement just to get out of bed. So here are a few practical self-care tips that might actually make a difference.


1. Prioritise Sleep during Perimenopause (Even if You Have to Cheat a Bit)

Let’s be honest—sleep during perimenopause can be a nightmare. Between the night sweats, anxiety, and waking up at ridiculous hours, a good night’s sleep can feel out of reach. But sleep is essential, so it’s worth putting a bit of focus here. Try setting up a wind-down routine, no screens before bedtime, sunlight in the morning, keeping your room cool, or cutting back on caffeine in the afternoon. And if you need a nap to make it through the day, take it (but not too long!). Sometimes the best self-care is letting yourself rest, even if it’s just a quick doze on the sofa. Check out my sleep guide here....




Menopause sleep problems

2. Move Your Body (Without Piling on Pressure)

Exercise can be great for perimenopause—it helps with mood, energy, and can even ease some symptoms. But this isn’t about pushing yourself or dragging yourself to the gym if you’re not feeling it. A gentle walk, some stretching, or a bit of yoga at home all count. Just moving your body in a way that feels good (and doable) is enough. It’s about feeling better, not about proving anything.


3. Eat in a Way That Works for You

There’s a lot of conflicting advice about what you “should” eat during perimenopause, but let’s keep it simple: focus on what genuinely makes you feel good. Foods that give you steady energy—like whole grains, proteins, and healthy fats—can help keep your blood sugar stable, which might help with energy and mood. And if you find certain things (like caffeine or sugar) make your symptoms worse, try cutting back a bit. This isn’t about strict diets or rules, just paying attention to what helps you feel better.


4. Start Saying “No” More Often

If there’s ever a time to start saying “no” to things that drain you, it’s now. Perimenopause is a lot to handle, so don’t feel guilty about protecting your time and energy. Say no to social events if you’re not up for it, or step back from extra responsibilities if you can. Letting yourself prioritise rest or downtime is one of the best forms of self-care there is.


5. Allow Yourself to Feel Whatever You’re Feeling

Perimenopause can be an emotional rollercoaster, and some days will just feel heavier than others. You might feel emotional, angry, or totally overwhelmed—and that’s okay. You don’t have to “pull yourself together” or pretend you’re fine. Let yourself feel what you’re feeling without piling on extra guilt. It’s all part of this stage, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.


Perimenopause

6. Stay Connected (With People Who Understand)

This can be a lonely time, especially if people around you don’t really “get” what you’re going through. Try talking to friends who are in the same boat, or look for a supportive online group where you can be honest without judgement. Just knowing you’re not the only one can be a huge comfort on the hard days.


Final Thoughts

Self-care during perimenopause isn’t about ticking boxes or following trends. It’s about giving yourself a break and doing whatever small things help you feel a bit more like yourself. Some days that might mean taking a nap, other days it might mean saying “no” to something you don’t want to do.


This stage of life is tough, and you don’t have to do it perfectly. Just try a few things, see what helps, and remember—taking care of yourself is essential, not indulgent. So leave the overpriced smoothies for someone else and focus on what actually makes you feel good. You deserve it.




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